literature

I Detest You

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lichodite's avatar
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Literature Text

I Detest You

Time passes, life goes on,
new blood flows from my old wounds,
the circumstances are different,
but the feelings are the same.

What do you do??,
that I'm under your deadly spell with your mortal magic,
You makes me want you; need you, wish you...
desire you...

I detest you, every moment of the day
and every dream I live.

I hate you, in every eye contact we crossed
and every time we feel that we are only one.

As people, we are so different;
you, a lady, me, a man, you a goddess
owner of my clumsy heart
chained to a damned hope,
living suffering and wishing to die
for a moment on your lips;
an eternal moment that lasts till I wake up,
because only in dreams You can be mine.

I can't see my true destiny ...
Your eyes losses me, your mouth kills me...
but it's only a dream, just a desire...
that will disappear eventually...

Time passes, life goes on,
new blood flows from my old wounds,
You are my reason, my meaning,
my pain, my agony, my pleasure.
This is a Translation of my work titled: "Te Aborrezco"...

I made the translation myself, I'm open to all kind of constructive critiques and suggestions.

Submitted to: :iconthewrittenrevolution:
This piece was writte to a very special person...
I tried to let know how much love, I was willing to give... and also I was testing my abilities to write poems...

As a feedback... I would like to know:

Is the message of unconditional love clear?

I tried to let know that I suffered but I was willing to forget that in order to love and be loved... Did you felt it?

I saw her as a goddes and I was her slave... Is that too much for the poem?

Do you feel it overwhelming with images?? Should it be more clean??
Comments15
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AztecPrincess333's avatar
luv it and i felt it Outstandin writing keep it up!!!!:icongreatjobplz: